I say I want to be alone, but in reality I want you to want me more
The words come out of my mouth before the thoughts are ever processed
I feel like I am not myself, wondering if it's possible I have been possessed
The emotional trauma from my past haunts my soul, but not my troubled mind
I pray one day love will heal me, and all anguish will be left behind
The way my mind works cannot be explained, nor be understood
I know you want to relate to me...only if you could
The despair I feel day by day cannot be what life is about
I want to cry I want to fight I want to scream I want to shout
The happiness I long for seems to exist in a different realm or plane
I need a sound mind to carry me through, but I always feel insane
The high I feel when I am low is an abnormal chemical reaction
I insist on self-destruction rather than creating a safe plan of action
The backwards thoughts flow like lava erupting from Lassen Peak
I don't always say what I mean or mean what I say, is it truth that you seek?
The compulsive behavior ruins my day, but somehow I just can't quit
I continually obsess unnecessarily, it's preposterous I admit
The instability in my life has become a stable environment
I suppose routine would create normalcy, but normal isn't an entitlement
The troubled mind, the aching heart, and the tortured soul dwell within
I don't know who I would be if this pain had never set in
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