Tears of a Liar

They ask me what is wrong every time they see me cry
I tell them I am fine, that is my famous lie

I know I just lied, and they know it too
They are too young to know the truth, so lie is what I do

I tell them I want to be alone, I say I will be just fine
I hate for them to see my tears, I don't want them to hear me whine

I dread the day they grow up and say, I remember her being so sad
They will remember the pain and the anger, and how I always felt so bad

I cry because I am hurt, I cry because I am alone
I cry because I miss a person who I cannot reach by phone

I am sad because the people who are supposed to care most do not even give a damn
I wonder if they dismiss me because of who they are, or if I push them away because of who I am

It is so difficult being in love with a man who lives on the other side of the Earth
I cannot decide if the distance is our problem, or if he fails to realize my worth

I hate my mom because she never gave a fuck about me, she left me when I needed her the most
Now she comes back after 15 years and tells me she loves me, as if we are close

She is a stranger to me! She was never a mom, so I call her by her name instead
How can I act like you did not disown me, abuse me, and then you fled?

My father fought cancer, I thought I would lose him, by His grace my dad came out on top
You would think facing death he would quit smoking and drinking, it is obvious he does not want to stop

There are times I do not cry at all, I fight the tears and I remain strong
On this night it is all too much for me, I have been crying for so long

My kids look at me and ask me what is wrong, I tell them I am okay
They know it is not true and they want to cry too, because I am feeling this way

It is sad to say they are used to seeing the tears, and I am used to feeling them fall
Maybe the tears are not a bad thing,without sadness there would not be any happiness at all