Tears Have Blinded Your Sight

I know at times you want to cry, but you choose to fight the tears

You never imagined it would be so hard, but you choose to ignore your fears

Life dealt you a hand that has not been easy and now you feel alone
You never considered you would find your comfort on the other end of a phone

People come and people go, it is difficult for you to connect
You never believed your lack of trust could ever have such an affect

The thoughts in your head cannot always be said so you keep them to yourself
You never should have to face anything alone and should never be put on the shelf

Love is rare but you still have hope that true love will find you someday
You never give up on those you love, and you know love will find a way

The loyalty that lies within your heart is beautiful and unique
You never intended to have these walls up, but without them you feel weak

Your future is filled with hope and promise, tears have blinded your sight
You never see how brightly you shine, you're a beaming star in the night

Believe in yourself and never give up, everything will fall into place
You never have to go through anything alone, you are blessed with mercy and grace

For my dear friend May Day 

Painless Expression

I'm intrigued by your intellect and taken by your smile

You shine bright as treasure and you're as deep as the sea

I appreciate your honesty and admire your style

My mind often imagines what you may think of me

Your mysterious demeanor will have me guessing for a while


The chemistry between us seems to come and then go

Our friendship has developed beautifully thus far

I hold on to you with faith our relationship will grow

I'm reluctant to confess in case you find this bizarre

I'm willing to tell you everything I think you should know


I remember the time I put a smile on your face

I could feel your happiness through the phone

From then our friendship quickened in pace

The outcome between us is still unknown

It is for us to decide the next step that takes place


Your amazing thoughts set you apart from the rest

You've captured my attention by sharing your views

The connection between us has not yet failed a test

This bond we have made is one I intend to never lose

My admiration for you is painlessly expressed

The Greatest Mystery Never to be Solved

          Love is a need. Everybody wants love, but having a foundation of love in our lives is quite necessary. From the day we are born we are instinctively loving toward our parents. As we grow we thrive on love in order to be healthy and happy. Love shapes us and forms us. The lack of love also shapes us and forms us. Although love is a necessity, our desire for love creates an empty space when we do not receive the affection and care from others that we seek. This desire for love leads to bad judgment, poor decision making, and settling for less.

          An individual who is loved properly from infancy through adolescence will have a greater chance of finding love as an adult. Those who do not experience love as they should during their younger years will struggle with giving and receiving love later in life. Why do we look for love in the wrong places? Why do we love those who hurt us most? Love is the greatest mystery that will never be solved. The concept of love is difficult to comprehend. Love has a textbook definition, but can love really be defined? I believe the definition of love varies from person to person. Find a person who has the same definition of love as you do and then you have found true love. 

          Love sometimes chooses us, but we also have the power to choose who we love. Never make love decisions based on impulse. Matters of the heart are so fragile. The heart cannot be understood by logic. The heart has a mind of its own. The heart does not make decisions based on thoughts from the mind. Following your heart can end in tragedy or pure bliss. Making the wrong decision is always a life experience. Aren't life's most difficult lessons learned after heartache or heartbreak?

           Love makes us weak and love makes us strong. Loves makes us and love breaks us. Love is a contradiction. It is needed, but is difficult to find. Love is withheld when it should be given. It is given when it should be withheld. We fall, we hurt, we heal. Seek love and find heartache. Love finds you then leaves you. Love causing pain is common. To find love and keep it is rare.

In Love Alone

What do you do when the person you are in love with doesn’t seem to be in love with you?

Do you just give up and throw it all away? Do you stick around hoping they come around one day?

Lack of communication causes things left unsaid. Saying too much causes tears to be shed.

Pain is inevitable in a situation such as this. I always thought love was supposed to be bliss.

Unhappiness lingers and smiles begin to fade. During these times I look to you for aid.

Priorities do not seem to be where they should. I continually try to fix things; I just wish that you would.

I always want to keep a smile on your face. I wonder now if I am invading your space.

Love isn’t complicated, people are complex. You are a mystery whom I find perplex.

When we talk to each other it doesn’t feel the same. What once was a fire has burned down to a flame.

It seems you would rather talk to others than me. The funny thing is you’re the only one I see.

I see you with my heart and I see you with my soul. I see you as the person whose heart I once stole.

Once a relationship is tainted it’s hard to get it back. It takes a lot of effort to get things on track.

My tears seem to fall more than they have too. It pains me to think about being without you.

At times I feel confused and at times I feel alone. Others offer their time, but I don’t want them in my zone.

Maybe I should care less, but maybe you should care more. Maybe I’m not exactly what you’re looking for.

My mind is filled with questions that seem to have no answer. Our relationship is sick, as if infected with cancer.

We have several options in our current situation. Bring us back to life or sentence us to damnation.

Do we continue as we are in this state of sorrow? Do we keep planning on dealing with the issue tomorrow?

A resolution eventually has to come about. I need to know if you are living in doubt.

Your happiness is always my precedence. I have no problem with showing benevolence.

If my happiness is not your main concern you should rid yourself of this burden, even though it will burn.

An Impostor

You wear a disguise every day

You mask the truth in every way

Your friends are victims and they don’t even realize

Your family refuses to acknowledge you tell lies

You only come around when it benefits you somehow

You win the trust of everyone, even I until now

Your rumors and gossip have ruined peoples’ lives

Your backstabbing habits have required many knives

I have been fooled, but I now see right through you

I see an impostor who has no one to look up to

I’m noticing your fear overpowers your bravery

I’m realizing your weaknesses leave you in slavery

I recognize your desire for drama in your life

I have seen how your relationships end in turmoil and strife

I’m bringing to the light everything you hide in the dark

I’m ending our friendship, but willing to hear your remark

The things you have done were all self-serving

The benefits you reaped were very undeserving

There will be a day when karma comes around

There will not be a way to avoid something so profound

The things you took from me I do not even want back

The only expectation I have is you get your life on track

There is a thought I would like to leave you with

There is no hope for a person whose life is a myth

I, You, We

I see the tears falling down and I am feeling helpless right now

I want to make everything better I want to change things somehow

I often make decisions with no regard of how they will affect another

I now see you suffering because of me, but I am supposed to be your mother

I will spend every breath I take working to make your future more pleasant

I know that may not mean too much to you being you are unhappy during the present

You inspire me to be a better person and to change my foolish ways

You make me feel important and bring sunshine to my rainy days

You are so strong and so unique I admire that about you

You remind me of myself by the way you act and certain things you do

You should never of had to experience some of the things you have been through

You have always been understanding and to me you remain true

We will make it through these hard times I give you my word

We continue to look toward a brighter day although our vision is blurred

We will never be alone because together we are a team

We often feel like as if we could wake up and it all be a dream

We will continue to pray and forever stick together

We shall over come this inclement weather

Written for my daughter

I love you Kyla <3 

Troubled

Stress level is so high I feel I might relapse

Before I find inner peace how much time must elapse?

I can no longer distinguish between anxiety and anger

Before I trust myself I may confide in a stranger

I want to get a drink, but one will turn into two

I cannot handle this feeling so I don't know what else to do

My soul weeps and my heart cries tears as big as the ocean

My life has changed and somehow I feel as if I am one big emotion

My troubled mind produces thoughts a sane person could not comprehend

I dare not speak of what I think, I find it easier to just pretend

Pretend like everything will be fine

I am constantly asking for a sign

I need confirmation that I will make it through the rain

I need relief from all of this heartache and pain

I do not remember what it feels like to laugh

Can somebody please tell a joke on my behalf?

Then and Now

You say you still love me and want me but you don't know me anymore

Although the person I am now is different, somehow I am better than before

You loved me then, so you say, but the bruises and tears say differently

You could never love me now because now you would not get away with how you treated me

The hurt and pain you put me through doesn't compare to any other experience

That includes me getting shot, being in jail, and every courtroom appearance

You are a manipulator, I admit back then you got into my head

There were times I thought that if I stayed with you I would end up dead

Look at me now I am so much smarter and more beautiful than before

I hear you were in prison for a while, they say you're not on your feet anymore

For me the journey has been rough but I stand on solid ground

I have faith, I am sober now, and salvation I have found

Because of you I suffer many consequences, even on this very day

I try not to blame you but I know you are the reason my life is this way

I do take responsibility for my own actions and for being so naive

You were the center of my world then but now I have goals I am going to achieve

My children know I am better now they see it in my eyes

My family knows I have changed my ways they no longer hear my lies

I am more responsible now but that is something you never will be

I told you back then, "one day you will regret how you are treating me"

You never appreciated me and you took my kindness for weakness

I guess that is what caused me to be bitter, on the bright side it contributes to my uniqueness

If it wasn't for you I never would have developed my hustling skills

I now have a new talent that helps me buy nice things and pay my bills

If it wasn't for you disrespecting me I wouldn't have learned to stand up for myself

I now refuse to be abused, mistreated or put up on the shelf

So you see I am different now from how I was back then

I don't think we are compatible now you are sadly mistaken